Timeline: October 2012-May 2015
Let me just start by saying coming out is not all it’s cracked up to be. The answer to “I’m queer,” is sometimes “No.” Even though it wasn’t a question. Although you thought long and hard about it and imagined the possible ways your family would react and never imagined this reaction, they can tell you no. They can tell you that you’re wrong, confused, have had crushes on the opposite sex, or that you haven’t even been with the same sex.
Honestly, I feel like “Get out,” would have been much better than “No,” for me because I am still having to hide who I am 4.5 years later.
Here are some tips for anyone thinking about coming out:
- Coming out or not coming out does not make you more or less queer.
- Do not come out if it will put your safety or well-being at risk.
- Come up with a game-plan.
- Build a support system full of “safe” people before coming out to someone who may or may not be supportive.
- Do not let them tell you that you are wrong.
- Remember you are amazing, loved, and never alone.
- Make sure they know that their love and acceptance is important to you but the lack of it will not change who you are.
I was sent to church every time the doors were open. I was sent to church camp. I was told to hate who I was during a lot of services. I hated myself. I hated my life. I decided that I would be alone for the rest of my life because of who I am. I was miserable for 2.5 years of my life because of this.
DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WRONG OR LESS THAN. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL. BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.