Timeline: May 2015-July 2015
After two years of self-hatred, she came back into my life. After 2 years of thinking I would find no one else, trying to pray the gay away, and swearing I wouldn’t get into a relationship until after I had put myself through conversion therapy (which I wanted because I hated myself so much), she came back, and I fell just as hard for her this time around. We got engaged. We planned a life together. Then, I realized that she hadn’t grown up, but I had changed. It broke my heart to realize that we no longer had what was once such a special bond, and she realized it was gone too. We broke things off.
*** TRIGGER WARNING *** DEPRESSION/ALCOHOLISM TRIGGERS ***
Although I knew it was for the best, I became extremely depressed. I started going to clubs every weekend, binge drinking, and I got to the point I felt like I couldn’t live without alcohol in my system. I barely remember the time between the end of our relationship and the beginning of my next because I was so drunk all of the time.
Then, I met someone else who saved me from myself.