The Rise and Fall of Ryn

Timeline: July 2015-November 2016

*** TRIGGER WARNING *** POSSIBLE SELF HARM/ALCOHOLISM TRIGGERS ***

It all began with a wonderful person I had known for 14 years. We reconnected. They pulled me completely out of self hatred and alcoholism. They are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. Shortly after we began dating, my grandfather passed away. They were my rock. My shelter. My everything. I moved in with them shortly thereafter. The time I spent with them was the most beautiful time of my life. They kept me honest and helped me with my addiction to alcohol and self harm. When I did slip up, they held me while I cried. They were everything a recovering person could ask for and more. We had a wonderful relationship. We had issues like every relationship in the history of the world, but it was beautiful overall. We got engaged and planned to spend our lives together, but everything came to an extremely abrupt end. I thought the end of that relationship would kill me, and, on bad days like today, I still think it might. But, I understand that he wasn’t happy. I would (to his day) give everything I have to fix things, but I know that it’s probably impossible. Even after all of this, they help me. I cried on the phone with them last night because I am struggling with my alcoholism issues, and all they did was be there for me. Again, they are the most beautiful person I know. I’m not sure how to move on from here, but I’m trying my hardest every day.

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